What really happened that night!
by ShutupTommy
Summary: This is my first HP fic! it's about what i wuld hav liked to hav happened on the night of Voldemort's decent! Voldemort, little bug; now u go squish! hope u like it! plz RAR!!


Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me, IT BELONGS TO J.K.ROWLING... but what's the point in writing this, cos you all know that anyway @_@.  
  
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS MERELY A FUNNY VERSION OF WHEN VOLDEMORT FELL. IT'S NOT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO HARRY POTTER!!!!  
  
Well, here it is. By the way, I'm English and it only just hit me that quite a lot of you probably don't know what a nappy is, well, a nappy is a dyper. If you don't know what something else means, feel free to email me, and if you wanna tell me how much this sucks, again, feel free to email me...  
  
*********  
  
What really happened the night of Voldemort's death...  
  
Well of course, It all started a little while back, when Voldemort was at his highest. He went to the Potter family to 'murder' them all... but did anyone really get the story right?...  
  
Voldemort: Harry?..*sneaking around the house*... o little Harry?... Come out, come out, where ever you are!... *swings open door* Aha, got you!  
  
Baby Harry: Yay! Someone to dance with! Come here! *grabs Voldemort's hand and pulls him into the centre of the room, facing the T.V*  
  
Television: Tinky-Winky! Tinky-Winky! Dipsy! Dipsy!... *Harry starts dancing and jumping about* La-La! La-La! Po! Po!...  
  
Voldemort: Grrrrrr..... (television: Teletubies, TELETUBIES!) That's ENOUGH! *kicks T.V over* I came here to kill your Daddy, but while I'm still here, I may aswell kill you too!!!  
  
Louisa: Hey! Did I tell you that you were allowed to kick the T.V over??? Did I? I was watching that! Don't worry Harry, watch this.  
  
*Tinky-Winky walks in, punches Voldemort in the face, then walks out again*  
  
Voldemort: Hey! How come you're allowed to do that??  
  
Louisa: Cos I'm writing this and now I hope you understand the true power of writing!  
  
Voldemort: Yeah, Whatever...  
  
Louisa: Fine if you're dunna be like that, I'll just have to embarass you even further... *Voldemort's robes burst into flame revealing Voldemort in his pants (under-pants)* Love you're shocking pink batman pants Voldemort.  
  
Voldemort: But my pants aren't pink! *truly, they aren't*  
  
Louisa: Helloooo? If I say they are pink, they are pink! *Voldemort's pants turn pink with a small 'pop'*  
  
Voldemort: Okay, okay, I'm sorry!  
  
Louisa: That's better! *Voldemort's pants turn back to normal and his robes appear again*  
  
Baby Harry: By the way, you didn't kill my Daddy.  
  
Voldemort: What are you talking about?? Of course I killed your Daddy-  
  
Baby Harry: No, that was the gardener.  
  
Voldemort:...What???... oh well *sniggers* I killed your Mummy aswell anyway-  
  
Baby Harry: No, that was the butler. *laughs* You're a silly man!  
  
Voldemort: Grrrrr!!!! Alright then, wait right here; I'll be right back! *storms out of the room*  
  
Voldemort: *Comes back a few minutes later* Alright, now I have killed your Mummy!  
  
Baby Harry: No, you killed the Postwoman! Ha ha! Silly man Silly man! You silly, willy, nilly, old man! *starts dancing around Voldemort*  
  
Baby Harry: *holds up Voldemort's wand* What does this do?  
  
Voldemort: HUH???? Hey! GIVE MY WAND BACK! HOW DID - HOW DID YOU GET IT OFF ME??  
  
Baby Harry: 'Easy... You're a silly man! Silly man Silly man Silly man!!! *starts to dance around him again*  
  
Voldemort: Grrrrr... *attempts to grab Harry but Harry throws down his wans and runs out of the room* Oi, come back here!!!  
  
*after five minutes of searching the house again, Voldemort goes into the living room and sees Harry just outside in the garden*  
  
Voldemort: Aha! There you are! *runs straight into the almost invisible window*  
  
Baby Harry: Ha ha! Silly Man!!  
  
Voldemort: Grrrrr... *swings open window-door* Okay, now I'll get you!!!  
  
Baby Harry: I wouldn't come any closer if I were you silly man...  
  
Voldemort: Oh shut up you little brat *still walking towards Harry* You can't fool me! And there are no more windows for me to walk into either, so I suggest that you should just- *SPLASH*  
  
Baby Harry: Oooh! Silly man walked into the pond! I give silly man... a... 9!  
  
Voldemort: Oh shut up! *grabs wand* er... Die! D- *wand turns into a rubber chicken* Grrrrrrr!!! *face goes purple* *Voldemort finds his real wand still in his pocket* Grrrrrr!!!!  
  
Baby Harry: Ha ha ha!  
  
Voldemort: Why you little!!! *pins Harry to the ground* RIGHT! THIS TIME, YOU, WILL, DIE!!! er... Hocus Pocus!...er, no, um... Abra Kadabra!...okaaaaay... um...  
  
Baby Harry: *pulls wand out of his nappy, and pronounces his words in a low and deep voice* Incendio!  
  
Voldemort: *catches fire and when he puts the fire out, Harry turns him into a bug*  
  
Voldemort: Oh well done you little creep *in a high-pitched voice* now You'll... hey, hey! No! No don't! Noooooooooo!!!!  
  
*Harry steps on Voldemort and sniggers*  
  
Baby Harry: He he, Silly bug man.  
  
*********  
  
Well er, that's it. Not the nest humour I ever wrote but I thought I might aswell do this. This was originally gunna be a cartoon-strip, but it would last too long and I can't be botheres to draw the whole thing. Well, cya! 


End file.
